Sunday, May 16, 2010

#76 Living in Imperfect eHarmony

Today I am coming out...I am on eHarmony! I joined in December. After being on it a week or so I did "communicate" with one guy from Ohio who was 6'5". You can read about how that turned out in Post No. 64. About a month after that, I communicated with a guy from Illinois who was 6'6". After e-mailing for a couple weeks I commented on him being in his church's praise band, and that, being a conservative Lutheran, I didn't really care for them. I did it in a somewhat joking manner. He must not have thought so - I never heard from him again. Poof...

My review of eHarmony will include the good, the bad, the ugly.

Good - I feel that people on this site are maybe a little more interested in having a long-term relationship, as opposed to just dating around. It also seems like a more Christian-based site.

Bad - You cannot search on this site. You fill out the questionnaire and they send matches to you every week or so. You can request communication with them or close them.

Ugly - Since you cannot search on this site, you cannot weed out short men. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's life. I have received maybe five matches in my height range. After noticing dating categories on the bottom of their Web page (Jewish dating, black dating) I sent an e-mail to them about having a tall dating category. Their response: "Because the core of our matching is based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility, height is not used as part of our matching process as it has not been shown to impact long-term relationship happiness. If we were to have a setting to restrict height, you may miss out on a wonderful match that was only slightly shorter than what you had specified." My response to them - if you can restrict on the basis of skin color and religion, then Christians are missing out on some wonderful Jews, and white people are missing out on some wonderful black people.

I currently have reviewed 387 matches. Of those, I communicated with two and met one. I am 0-2.

In conclusion, if I were a "normal" woman, this might not be a bad site. For someone with my specificities, it is a bad site. Am I too picky? I don't think so. I want what I want. And I usually get what I want. ;-)


  1. I enjoyed reading your post, Linda! We’ve known a lot of tall ladies who’ve met their significant other through eHarmony. Your experience isn’t off the mark; it often takes “frog-kissing” and going through a lot of matches before finding the right one.

    It’s true our matching system doesn’t match based on height. I agree with you that it would be ideal if people opened their settings to the widest range possible to include all ages, ethnicities, etc. Just a note of encouragement – although your height has been a “qualifying” factor for you, each member on eHarmony has their own set of qualifiers that may cause them to rule out a number of matches or get ruled out by a number of matches. It has become a cliché on our site, but it is true – it only takes one. I hope you find your one soon. If you have any questions or need assistance, you can contact our Customer Care team at or follow me on Twitter @eHarmony_Jack. -Jack

  2. lets you search by height.

    - Bill (7'1").