Friday, October 18, 2013

#363 Doctor My Eyes

I am newly 45 and I don’t wear glasses. Real glasses, anyway (more on that in a minute).  Hooray for me!  It’s surprising since both of my parents wear glasses.  My dad has worn glasses since he was a kid.  My mom needed glasses after giving birth to me (she went into labor and couldn’t read her phone book to call the doctor).
My oldest brother, David, is 50 and wears readers.  Paul will be 49 in September and last year got prescription bi-focal “readers”.  I broke down last summer and bought readers with a 1.0 magnification.  I only need them to read in bed at low light.  Or when I need to read a label with really small print.  (What is up with the labels with really small print?)
One day I was joking around with Megan (my niece who is 20) and mentioned that, along with having to hold things further away for me to read them (menus, phones), I can no longer see the hair under my arms when I am in the shower.  (As background, every day I shave my legs and under my arms.  I have learned that some women do not do this every day for various reasons.  It takes me a minute.  I do not like stubble.  End of story.)  I used to be able to see the little hairs and know that I got them all.  Now I am shaving “blind.”  I have no idea if I miss any, so every once-in-a-while I look at my underarms in the bathroom mirror to check.  I told Megan, “One day you won’t be able to see your underarm hair either!” and she just laughed.  I will remind her of this when she is 45. 

Last week one of the story lines from Modern Family was about Gloria not wanting to admit that she needed glasses.  She was constantly holding things far away to read them better.  Her husband Jay pretended to eat rat poison and asked her to read the emergency directions on the poison box.  She couldn’t do it and he finally said, “And I’m dead.” 

Lately I feel like Gloria (without the great rack).  I have noticed in the past couple of weeks that I need my readers to read the newspaper at the table.  In full light!  And I am holding things at arm’s length with more frequency.  (I have really long arms.) 

My workplace has a yearly health fair with several vendors where you can learn about diabetes, cancer, sickle cell, fitness centers, etc.  One fun station let me see inside my ear.  Ewww…hair and wax!  At another station I checked my eyesight.  I was able to read the smallest line at the bottom and the woman said I had 20/15 vision.  Cool!  I mentioned that I am holding things out further to read them and she said that’s normal and asked my age and my next birthday.  I told her I was 45.  Today!  She expected me to say I was 40 because that’s when most people start doing that.  I’d like to think it was because I am so youthful looking. 

Yesterday I bought a second pair of readers at Goodwill (they were only $4!).  They are a really cute style and I thought it would be good to have a more fashionable pair for work when it comes to that.  My next dilemma will be how to carry them around.  I refuse to wear them on a chain around my neck.  Maybe a cute glasses case. 

Yes, my eyes have seen the years.  I hope to see many more. 

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