#337 Dating Down

I recently saw an interesting segment on CBS Sunday Morning that discussed the topic of tall women and their limited dating pool, with most of them having to date down (aka, date shorter men). Mo Rocca (LOVE him) talked to several tall women (6’ to 6’3”) to get their thoughts on this phenomenon. (Ok, why is it when people talk to “tall” women, they are always 6’1” or 6’2”. They never talk to the seriously tall). Most admitted that they prefer dating men their height or taller. However, he did talk to one couple where the woman is 6’1” and her husband is 5’7” and they are very happy together. I did love his quote…something like, “I never thought I would end up with a woman who could physically pick me up.”

In high school I refused to date down. I actually had a couple guys ask me out who were under 6’. Nada. No way. No how.

When I got to college I thought I would be in guy heaven. Surely there would be at least one guy out of the approximately 20,000 students who would be of a suitable height. As luck would have it, there was one. Oh there were plenty others who were tall enough, and even some on the basketball team who were way tall enough. I went on a few dates but no one really caught my attention. Except for the one who happened to be 6’4”. (See Post #329 to see how that turned out.)

Post-college I’ve dated sporadically and I would estimate that the height of the guys has ranged from 5’9” to 6’10”. I’ve met a few guys (and dated a couple) throughout my life who were a lot shorter than me that I was really interested in (most recently, “Carl”. I’ll save that for another post). Ironically, I’ve found that shorter guys are more likely to be interested in me than guys closer to my height. I was on a first (and last) date with a 6’4” guy who said he always wished he was taller. He then commented that I probably wished I was shorter. I said no. (Crickets)

The 6’10” guy (referenced above) told me that if I was taller than him he wouldn’t want to date me. I can agree with that to a point. 6’11” is tall even by my standards, but I know a couple attractive women in that height range.

I have had my height “rules” - my Jim Harbaugh Rule (Post #2) and my Costaki Rule (Post #249). (Alas, both of them are taken.) In all seriousness though, at the end of the day, it’s not only about height. It’s about a connection and how that person makes me feel. I want them to be in the height ballpark, but I would choose 6’4” and a great connection over a 6’10” dud. (For the record, the 6’10” guy was not a dud. We just wanted different things, i.e., marriage and kids).

Why the rules? Why don’t I like to date shorter men? The bottom line is that I just feel more feminine when I’m around a tall man. I could care less what others think of how I look with a shorter man. I actually think it looks kinda cool when I see celebrity couples where the woman is a little taller. But if the difference is too great, I start to feel like a dude. One woman Mo talked to said she feels like their mother if she’s significantly taller.

Which brings up one of my biggest pet peeves - seeing a really tall man with a really short woman. Really?! Save some for the rest of us!! If they’re holding hands it looks like he’s taking her for a walk. But I digress…

So what’s a tall girl to do? Especially when approximately four percent of the male U.S. population is 6’2” or taller. (Holy $#!% that is a scary statistic.) I will continue to date people I’m attracted to who are close to my height.

But where are all the tall guys? I think Mo needs to do another segment on that topic.