Wednesday, February 26, 2020

#483 We Are Family (I got all my sisters with me)

My original 1980s T-shirt.  I still have all my Ts and sweats.
Going away to college doesn’t always mean going away.  Depending on the circumstance, it’s not always desired or feasible or even possible.  And going away may mean two hours for some and 10 hours for others. 

I’m in the 10 hours group.  I attended Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama.  In 1985, when I first told people where I was going, most thought I was staying in-state (there is an Auburn, Indiana).  The Alabama Auburn was not yet “on the map” in my neck of the woods.  

Something inside me told me to go “away.”  I certainly missed my friends and family, but after I got over my homesickness, I loved being truly away.  I felt bad that my parents couldn’t attend all of my basketball games, but they were there for quite a few, home and away.  As the years pass, I’ve found the biggest drawback to going away to school (over 500 miles) is that it’s not easy (nor inexpensive) to go back. 

I wouldn’t trade going to Auburn for anything, but will admit I’m a little envious that my Purdue-graduate family members can hop in a car and be in West Lafayette in a little over an hour.  For me, it’s either a 10+ hour drive, or an hour-and-a-half flight to Atlanta and another hour-and-a-half rental-car drive.  Save time or save money. I’m fortunate that these days, I am able to save time. 

We’ve had basketball reunions several time over the past thirty years.  The first one I attended included an alumni basketball game.  (I would not like to do that now.)  We reunited for a game in Coach Ciampi’s last season, and have had one or two during the present coaches tenure.  They’ve all been fun, but quick.  Come in, go to a game, try and catch up during the game, which in turn takes attention off of the game itself.  Then it’s over. 

The latest reunion took place a couple weekends ago.  It was strikingly different.  How?  Maybe because we’re older (early to mid-50s).  Maybe we’re wiser.  Maybe because we grasp the reality that we all won’t always be around.  Lisa H. lost her young daughter Kayla last year.  Ann, Chantel, Lynn and Heather have battled cancer.  Late last year, Patty and Helene visited Heather, who is still in a fierce battle.  That prompted talk of a reunion.  Charlene is an assistant coach at LSU, so after looking at the basketball schedule, we chose that game for our reunion weekend.  Not all were able to make it, but they were with us in spirit.  

I think the biggest difference is that we took time to just be together.  Helene opened up her home for our Saturday night gathering.  She made Stromboli (our coach’s wife used to make that all the time), we had other party food and, of course, drinks.  We watched the Auburn men’s basketball game on TV (Vickie’s son currently plays on the men’s team).  We relaxed.  We laughed.  We cried.  We played Catch Phrase.  Patty asked us to write questions on 3x5 cards and then we went around the room answering them.  (What is said in the house stays in the house.)  We trusted.  We hugged.  We held hands.  We stayed up until 2 a.m.  (Well, I left at 2 a.m.  Some stayed overnight at Helene’s, so I don’t know when they actually went to sleep.)


The "matriarchs":  Charlene, Patty and Helene

hanging out in Helene's kitchen
Sunday consisted of lunch and the women’s game – Auburn was victorious over LSU (sorry Charlene!).  Since we had spent so much time together Saturday night, we were able to pay more attention to the game.  We saw Coach Ciampi and a few other players.  Dianne, one of our managers, still works the scorer’s table.  Susan Nunnelly, who announced our games back then, is still announcing the games.  A smaller group went out after the game and then back to Helene’s house. 

post game photo op

I had a few roommates during my time there – Karen, Tammi, Lynn and Jocelyn.  Others lived down the hall in the dorm.  The older ones had their own apartments.  We spent countless hours together in practice and on road trips, which is an incredible bonding experience, but did we all really know each other?  I found out things during this weekend that I had never known.  Not that they were secrets, just things we didn’t talk much about then, or I wasn’t around when they happened. 

Lisa S. and me at the golf course where we had our 5-mile run in 1989 pre-season.
We're smiling.  We weren't smiling then, Mike Pauley!  

Even though we are scattered around the country, we picked up where we left off.  It was great to reminisce about the old times as well as catch up on what everyone is doing now.  The real beauty is that we accept each other as we are.  We met each other by chance 30+ years ago, but we stay together by choice.  I don’t have any sisters, so they are all my Lady Tiger sisters.  "And we fly just like birds of a feather"  War damn eagle! 

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