#437 Water, Water, Everywhere

Water, water, every where,

And all the boards did shrink;

Water, water, every where,

Nor any drop to drink. 

The Rhime of the Ancient Mariner

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The first two lines of this poem popped into my head today.  I had just finished a conversation with a female friend (early 50s, also single) and one of our shared experiences was knowing many attractive men, yet not being attracted to them.  As I walked away, I thought to myself, “Water, water, everywhere.”  Or in this case, “Men, men, everywhere.  Nor any man to date.” 

I used to think to myself, “I never meet any men.”  I realized that was not the case.  I meet LOTS of them.  Funny, smart, attractive.  They are!  (Not just a nice personality.) 

I was talking to another married female friend about this very subject over the weekend and when I said I wasn’t attracted to them she asked, “What do you mean?  Do you not like their body?”  That made me laugh.  And it made me think.  It’s not necessarily their bodies.  I’m more of a face girl anyway.  I like a guy with a great face (eyes, smile, lips).  I care about the body but do not require a six pack or lots of muscles.  I’m good with reasonably in shape.    

Sometimes I feel a bit Seinfeld-esc because I start to get “picky”.  They run too stiffly.  They can’t shoot a basketball.  (They don’t have to have played basketball, but they should at least know how to shoot the rock.)  They don’t like sarcasm.  They don’t have a sense of humor.  They have terrible taste in music.  Or they’re not into any kind of music at all.  (One of my friends won’t date anyone who likes Dave Matthews.) 

Then there’s the height.  The elephant in the room.  I’m tall.  I like tall men.  I want a man who is close to my height.  I’m giving some slack here – I don’t require them to be taller than me.  Just close.  Is that so wrong?  “Why?” you may ask.  Why would I overlook a wonderful man who is 5’10”?  Because I don’t like bending over to kiss a man.  Because I don’t like bending over to hug a man.  Because I don’t want to feel like THE MAN.   

I know I’m limiting my dating pool.  But I like what I like.  One day a 5’9” man may come along and sweep me off my feet.  Until then I’ll keep looking for my tall drink of water.  

#436 @WeDineTogether

For the past several years I have taken bicycle vacations.  You ride, camp and eat with other cyclists for a week in all parts of the country.  My very first ride I went by myself.  I was ok on my bike during the day, but at breakfast and dinners, which were included in the ride cost, I always felt like I was in school again.  I got my food, looked around, and wondered where I was going to sit.  Even as an adult, I had a bit of anxiety.  I quickly made friends and each day found it easier to sit and talk with the other riders.

I recently saw a segment by my favorite CBS Sunday Morning reporter, Steve Hartman, on this very topic.  Students at Boca High in Boca Raton, Florida formed a club after they noticed other students sitting by themselves during lunch.  The young man who started the club had also been new and remembered how hard it was to make new friends.  It’s especially difficult in high school, where cliques are prevalent. 

The name of the club is We Dine Together.  As another club member pointed out, just letting someone know you see them and want to listen to them makes a huge difference in their lives. 

As I usually do when I watch Steve Hartman’s segments, I got teary-eyed.  Which was ironic since I had just put drops in my eyes for my dry-eye condition.  Fake tears mixed with real ones!

It just goes to show you that no matter what your age, we all need to feel that we belong and others value us.  And any act, however small it may seem, makes a big difference.